TL;DR: Networking! (But if you keep reading I’ll give you some templates.)

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lol who decided to put this monstera leaf next to this iPhone this is so silly | Photo by inlytics | LinkedIn Analytics Tool on Unsplash

As pandemic summer began to turn to pandemic fall, I started feeling like it was time to expand my professional horizons. Maybe it’s the topsy turvy nature of life in quarantine and all of the things that are constantly changing and throwing us for new loops. And so I thought, Might as well start looking. It’ll probably take a while. We are, after all, in a pandemic-induced recession.

Fast forward to four months later and here I sit, writing this blog post, about 90 days into my new job. I began my search in earnest around Labor Day weekend and accepted a new job offer before the end of September. It was a whirlwind couple of weeks (and phew, so hard to leave the old job that I loved!), …

It’s nicer than I thought

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Aaron proposing to me at the Whitney show at Thalia Hall on December 5, 2019 | Photo by Benjamin Lurie

I’ve done my fair share of hand wringing about getting married.

Marriage, I figured, would be fine in the end. I had my fears of the unknown, but I love the person I’m marrying a lot. The worst part of getting married, I assumed, would be being engaged, a transitional phase that I imagined as a fiery tunnel of bride-to-be hype culture that is just…not my vibe. Unsolicited marriage advice from family members. Overpriced bridal accouterments that I simultaneously did not need and also had to have. …

Learning and Unlearning a Few Things Amidst a Pandemic

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Our last normal times photo — our official adoption pic with Honey — on March 11, 2020

On Wednesday, March 11, 2020, my fiancé Aaron and I officially adopted our dog Honey.

I went to work that morning and had a series of increasingly important meetings. I had a bit of a cold/cough thing going on, but I made myself go in because that’s the kind of thing you did before a pandemic hit. After work, we made dinner at home and then drove down to the rescue we’d fostered Honey through to sign the official paperwork. Later that night, we cuddled on the couch with our newly adopted family member when the NBA announced they were suspending the rest of the season because someone tested positive for COVID. And then Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they both had it. …

From a relentless salary negotiator

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

In my first full-time job out of college, my salary was $38,500.

This may seem like a lot of money or not very much money depending on where you’re at financially. Living alone in a big city for the first time in my life with a mountain of student loan debt looming over me, it did not feel like much money to me.

I knew this was not a job I wanted to be in forever, so I used it as an opportunity to practice my negotiation skills. I was only there for eight months, and I asked for a raise THREE DIFFERENT TIMES (who the heck IS SHE??). My memory is slightly foggy at this point, but I’m pretty sure I got a raise every time I asked for one. …


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Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

My significant other and I have been living together for five years. At this point, we’re pretty good at it. We share domestic responsibilities equitably. We know how and when to give each other space. We’ve cultivated rituals that range from strange to spiritual — like hiding tiny pumpkins around the house in the fall (look out Aaron I might be hiding pumpkins on you RIGHT NOW!!!) and taking three deep breaths while holding hands before dinner every night (in an attempt to be more *~* m i n d f u l *~*).

But the thing we are the absolute best at is buying groceries. I self-identify as a shrill feminist, but dammit if I don’t love this particular slice of domesticity. I look forward to making our grocery list every week. Aaron and I love grocery shopping together. I look forward to eating the meals we cook. And we almost always successfully consume an entire fridge of perishables so that we’re ready to buy fresh food the next week without wasting anything. …

Love, loss, and the ingredients in between

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Photo by jimena agois on Unsplash

When I left the first person I loved from a distance I swore I would never do it again. Isn’t that always the best foreshadowing? As soon as you swear you won’t do something it has a way of making itself inescapable.

I wanted to love someone who could make me a sandwich. Who could do a simple thing when I needed them to. Who could love me plainly and presently.

When we were falling in love, I brought a sandwich to you when you were studying late at the library. You appreciated it but you had no idea how much it meant to me. Even though you’d be leaving soon and I wouldn’t be able to bring you sandwiches anymore and you would maybe never return the favor to me, I wanted to feel like it was possible to take care of you in the way I wanted you to take care of me. …

Instagram, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down

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This summer I’ve started tapering off Instagram.

I say tapering off because that’s what it is — I don’t plan to quit altogether. But I’m intentionally lessening the time I spend there, and reflecting on what it does for me.

Let’s get into why I’m doing this first and then I’ll tell you how I’m doing it in case you want to do something similar. And then, if you’re really curious, I’ll share some reflections on how spending less time on IG has impacted me so far.

Why I’m Tapering Off Instagram

I like to get up a few hours before I need to go to work and do some things that are good for myself. I never do the same thing two days in a row. Sometimes I journal, sometimes I work out, sometimes I make a particularly tasty breakfast. …

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Foreground image Plaza Borja Yerovi by Rick Segreda

I first came out to a stranger in a strange place.

I was alone in La Mariscal, the club district of Quito, where I had been studying abroad. I had just shown my friend to her cab and was about to grab one myself. But when I saw Majo at the bar, I decided to grab another drink.

Majo was tall, which you could tell even while she was sitting down. Her thick black hair split down the middle and tied in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She wore no makeup, her high bronze cheekbones shining in the dimly lit bar. She wore a gray button-down shirt, loose jeans, and boots. …

Get ready to ship some astro-political pairings!!!

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Background photo by Farzad Mohsenvand on Unsplash

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Aries are always ready to call it like it fucking is, and so is Kristin Gillibrand. From being one of the first to tell Al Franken, “boy bye,” to going off the party script and declaring that Bill Clinton should have resigned during the Lewinsky scandal, y’all are both ready to burn some shit down and I am here for it.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Sweet. Gooey. Fiercely committed to economic equality. Is it an eclair at a Taurus’s favorite socialist bakery or is it Bernie Sanders? It’s both!

Taureans love a lavish thing, and what’s more opulent than running for president a second time around when your first campaign was used as a Trojan horse by Russians to fan the flames of the split between moderate and radical Democrats in order to elect an incompetent misogynist. (What? I’m sorry?? …

Some thoughts on motherhood ambiguity over the years

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Photo by Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash

Author’s note: I heard an interview with poet Nikki Giovanni a while ago where she said, “If you don’t change your mind, you haven’t learned anything.”

I like that perspective a lot. And I like the way this piece traces the way my mind has changed (and not changed) when it comes to my thoughts about kids in the recent past. It makes me feel like there is a lot that I have learned recently.

1. The kid thing (2016)

I think about having kids a lot.

Not about how badly I want them, but whether or not I could want them.

I see moms in the park with their babies and…


Bridgett Colling

I write things on the internet for business and for pleasure. I live in Chicago with my partner and my pets.

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